What if your washing machine instruction manual was like the Bible?

Some people say that the Bible is a manual for life. I'm not so sure it's that clear cut. Suppose the manual for your washing machine was like the Bible. What would it be like?

Genesis

The birth and early life of the founder of the company. His/her first job. How they founded this small company manufacturing domestic appliances.

Exodus

How the company survived a recession and grew from strength to strength. How early washing machines were to be treated, the type of detergent that was suitable in those days. (However many of the rules for these early washing machines still apply to day.)

Judges and Kings etc.

After the founder dies (this is not an analogy, this is a washing machine manual), there are a number of takeovers by other companies. At the end of the process the company is experiencing steady growth.

Songs about washing machines

Lots of them, mostly written by one person.

The modern age

The first electronic washing machines with fancy electronic displays (really, this is not an analogy). The growth and spread of the company as its machines are used in many different countries around the world.

Letters

Letters from one of the service people telling others how to get the best out of their washing machines.

So

There you are with your new washing machine and all you want to know is how you wash cottons on a 40° wash and there's this big manual full of things that mostly seem irrelevant. Maybe life is a bit more complicated than a washing machine and all that stuff about origins is important. Particularly as this manual doesn't get revised, only translated, so has to work until the end of the world.
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