PR for pirates
"Ahoy!, we're pirates, we'd like t' improve our image."
"Just so I can understand how best to help you, can you tell me what your core business is?"
"I see. How would you define piracy?"
"Stealin' from other people."
"Any other related activities?"
"Kidnappin' sometimes, sinkin' ships, fightin'. Surprisin'ly always a bit o' fightin' with t' stealin'. Sometimes a bit of killin'."
"But stealing is your core business?"
"Hmm, that is generally what most people think of when they think of pirates. You haven't given us much we can go on really if you want an improved image."
"Some people say our accent be charmin'."
"You're right, that is maybe something we can work with."
At this point a second person from the PR firm chips in, "maybe we could have a 'talk like a pirate day'?"
First PR person: "Yes, I can see that working."
Second PR person: "Given time, I think those clothes would appeal to people".
"They're just our normal clothes though", says the pirate.
"Give it time though, I think this one is going to take a few years to work on."
So now we think pirates are charming, with their sailing ships, nautical adventures and treasure maps. The PR firm that took them on must have done it a long time ago, because probably no matter how old you are you can't remember a time when pirates weren't good fun.
I wonder if the same company will be approached at some point in the future.
"Hello there, we're relatives of Jimmy Saville...".
(Pirate translation provided by fissio.com.)